Society trains you to live by the rules and this can keep you feeling stuck. Society decides what kind of person you need to be to fit in.
Unfortunately, you are never asked if you want this training. You did not get a choice. All of this training started at birth and never stops.
Do you feel like you must wear a social mask – just to fit in or to be liked?
What is domestication?
According to Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, parents train their children with a system of punishments and rewards. He calls this training “domestication.”
Ruiz says, “… we start pretending to be what we are not, just to please others, just to be good enough for someone else.” “Eventually we become someone we are not.”
When we become adults we continue this system. We have an internal judge and an internal victim, who carries the blame, guilt and shame.
How do we stay stuck?
As a child you may have tried to rebel, but you were not strong enough. Children are trained to believe everything adults tell them.
As an adult, if you try to be your own person and make your own decisions, you find that the old training is still in control. Even though these beliefs are not healthy, they feel safe.
Ruiz says, “Ninety five percent of the beliefs we have stored in our mind are nothing but lies, and we suffer because we believe all these lies.” These false beliefs blind us to the truth. They act like a fog keeping us from seeing the truth.
Why do we hold onto these false beliefs?
We keep these beliefs in place because we are afraid. We are afraid to be ourselves. We may not even be able to imagine being our true selves.
If we step out of line or make a mistake we punish ourselves – sometimes for years. No one abuses you more than you abuse yourself. False beliefs may feel safe and normal, but at a deep level, you know that something is wrong.
What can you do to be free?
Letting go of all this training is not easy. Our social mask is firmly in place.
Fear is the key. Fear keeps these limiting beliefs in place. When you feel afraid that other people won’t like you or you won’t measure up to their expectations or you are not lovable enough, then you have found a limiting belief.
These limiting beliefs keep you trapped and prevent you from being your true self.
As you release this fear, you will discover that it never really belonged to you at all. This is the fear that society uses to keep you domesticated.
You have a choice!
Even if you think it is too late and there is no hope, you can become your true self.
First learn the poetry of emotion process. Then, start releasing all of your fears. You will know that you are becoming your true self when you start feeling lighter, happier, and free to make choices.
Are you ready to wake up from your personal nightmare and start living?
To get started…(image: allison.johnston @ Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/allisonjohnstonn/8111509357/)
