3 Steps to Ending Self Sabotage

I have been writing a lot about how you are sabotaging your life. Today I want to talk about ending self sabotage for good.

Whether self sabotage is a big issue that affects much of your life or it is confined to one or two areas, ending self sabotage can make a big difference in your life.

If you are ready to take charge of your life and start living the life you dream about, read on.

The first two steps

The first step is realizing that you are the one sabotaging your life. I covered this in my posts, “11 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Life and How to Stop” and “One More Way You Are Sabotaging Your Life: Procrastination.”

The second step is understanding that you are not flawed. Self sabotage is caused by unresolved issues from childhood. I covered this in my post, “How Emotions From the Past Sabotage Your Life.”

Are you ready for step 3?

Ending self sabotage for good

I am going to tell you how to use the poetry of emotion process to end self sabotage. While there are other methods you can use to release the past, this is my personal preference. This is the method I use because it works for me. And I think it will work for you.

Here are the 3 basic steps of the poetry emotion process:
1. Pick an emotion that is causing problems. (I will be discussing exactly how to do this later in this post.) Describe that emotion as a poem.

2. Find a positive time before you ever experienced this emotional poem. This younger self has what you need to heal.

3. Transform the problem poem using your younger self and your helper.

For more details on the poetry of emotion process click on “Are You New to the Site?”

How to choose a problem emotion

You might think this is the easiest step, but in my experience this can be the most difficult step. You will need to become a detective and examine your life to find the problem emotion.

If you are someone who feels every emotion and acts out, you have it a bit easier. Whatever strong emotion -anger, feeling hurt, feeling upset – is causing you the most problems is your starting point.

You have to dig a bit deeper if you are shooting yourself in the foot or are always underachieving, or creating chaos. The easiest way to find your starting point is to ask, “How would I feel if I stopped sabotaging my life?” You might feel anxious or afraid or confused. This is your starting point. You will find other emotions below your starting point.

If you are out of touch with your emotions, it may be difficult to see how emotions are creating self sabotage. Start by picking a specific area that is causing you problems.

Examples include:

• Unable to feel close in relationships
• Trouble making decisions
• Feel you are an observer in your life, not a participant
• Don’t know who you are

Think about your problem with some intensity. Next, scan your body. You might not experience anything that could be labeled as a typical emotion, but you will notice something.

Maybe you will notice:

• A blank space
• A sense of “I don’t know”
• A dark wall
• Confusion

Continue to describe the sensations in your body. This will become your problem emotional poem. Then continue with the poetry of emotion process. Be extra careful when going back in time to before you ever felt the problem emotion. Be sure to pick a positive experience, otherwise you might find yourself in one of the experiences you stuffed. You don’t want that!

Once you have cleared any blocks to feeling your emotions you may find yourself feeling new and possibly unpleasant emotions. This is actually good news. You are digging up the emotions you buried. Use the poetry of emotion process to heal these emotions.

What’s next?

Okay, I know there was a lot of information in this post. The key points to remember are: you can release the past and you can become the person you were meant to be. You can stop sabotaging your life. Just take it one step at a time.

What emotions do you want to release?

(Image: Marina del Castell @ Flickr)