11 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Life and How to Stop

Is every area of your life going like you want it to go? Is it possible that you are the one sabotaging your life?

You may be thinking, “I’m not causing my problems!” It’s my family, people at work, my mean boss, or the economy.

Admitting your role in your problems is a hard step to take. Yet, this is the only step that can set you free.

Read on to discover 11 ways you are sabotaging your life and how to stop for good.

It’s not your fault

Behaviors that sabotage your life are caused by emotions and beliefs from childhood. You learned these emotions from your parents before you were old enough to know you had a choice.

Childhood issues and traumas can leave you with emotional wounds that hold you back. These wounds have been with you so long you don’t realize you can let them go.

These emotions and beliefs are keeping you from feeling your true emotions. True emotions are supportive and life affirming. They help you have the life you were meant to live.

Even though it is not your fault, you are the one with the problem. So, you are the only one who can turn this around and start living the life you dream about.

Working with many clients and releasing my own emotional wounds helped me to identify 11 common sabotage patterns.

1. You shoot yourself in the foot

Just when success is almost in your grasp, something happens to derail you. You have a family emergency and don’t follow through. You make a stupid mistake. Then, you add this to your list of failures and feel even worse.

2. You are always an under achiever

You know you have the potential to succeed, but it never happens. You don’t get the promotion. Your teachers comment on your intelligence, but your grades never live up to expectations. You feel underpaid and undervalued.

3. You are too prickly

I use the term prickly for someone who gets their feelings hurt all the time. You spend so much time feeling hurt, you can’t enjoy life. When things are going well, you are on the lookout for any slight, so you can feel hurt.

4. You are repeating your parents issues

No matter what you do you find yourself repeating your parents problems. Maybe you can’t have a stable relationship. Maybe you always have money problems.

5. You are always angry

Sometimes childhood wounds can leave you with one over riding emotion: anger. You walk around feeling angry and almost anything can set you off leaving your family hurt and confused.

6. You create chaos

When things are going smoothly, you start getting uncomfortable. You just have to stir things up. You’ve been living in chaos so long it feels normal.

7. You have self doubt

You don’t believe in yourself. You say “I can’t” a lot. You can’t ask for a raise or a date. You’re never ready to start the life of your dreams.

8. You always settle for less than you deserve

You don’t believe you can have what you really want so you settle for less. You’re not happy with your relationship, but it’s the best you can do. You are probably underemployed and underpaid.

9. You don’t recognize your own power

Even if you have a great success, you don’t take credit for your role. You think it was dumb luck or a fluke. You lose all the momentum of your success and don’t take the next step.

10. You don’t feel good enough

You can’t have the life you want because you are not good enough to have it. Who would hire you? Who would want to be in a relationship with you? Who are you to be a big success?

11. You are afraid

Finally, we come to fear. Fear can stop you dead in your tracks. You are afraid you will fail, people will laugh at you, your family won’t approve of you, or you’ll die if you try. Fear is a big block to the life you dream about.

How to stop sabotaging your life for good

Are you sabotaging your life? The first step is admitting that you are not living the life you want.

The poetry of emotion process can help you. By releasing childhood emotional wounds and limiting beliefs, you can reclaim your true self and stop sabotaging your life.

To read more, click on “Are you new to the site?

Leave me a comment below and tell me how your life would change if you stopped sabotaging your life.
(Image: Brenda Clarke @ flickr)

{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Deborah September 25, 2015, 10:31 am

    Wow! This is so on-target for me. I just committed recently to investing in myself and my goals, and I was really shocked at how many emotional hurdles I had to clear to do so. Self-sabotage is so insidious!

    • Donna Weber September 25, 2015, 2:17 pm

      Thank you, Deborah. Even before the ink is dry, I have another way we sabotage ourselves: procrastination. Perhaps that one deserves a post of its own.

  • Michael Hoffman September 28, 2015, 11:37 am


    Succinct and on target. You always write well and this is no exception. I’m passing this link to members of my sales team and family… Hard to find success with self-sabotage in the background!

    • Donna Weber September 28, 2015, 4:05 pm

      Thanks for your comment, Michael. I have one more way we sabotage our success coming up in my next post – procrastination. Like many of us I am familiar with this one!


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