How Emotions from the Past Can Ruin Your Holiday Season

Are emotions from the past preventing you from enjoying your holiday season? Normally you are a competent adult. Yet, when you go home for the holidays you feel 12 years old again.

Almost everyone has had the experience of age regression. Age regression happens when your emotions get reset to an earlier point in your life, usually childhood.

What causes age regression and what can you do about it?

Signs of age regression

How do you know if you are experiencing age regression? Age regression can take many forms. Here are a few examples:

  • You find yourself arguing with your siblings
  • You have hurt feelings over something trivial
  • You are trying too hard to please your dad
  • You act stupid or awkward
  • You get angry when you don’t get your way
  • You feel like you are 12 years old

With any of these signs you lose your adult reasoning and coping skills. It feels like your brain has been hijacked by your emotions.

Why does the holiday season cause age regression?

Age regression happens when unresolved emotions are triggered. Many unresolved emotions were created in childhood. The holiday season provides many opportunities to trigger these emotions.

Many of us have unresolved emotions that were created during the holiday season. Think back to your childhood. What happened during the holidays?

Did your family have financial issues and the holiday season created added stress?
Did family problems become magnified during the holiday season?
Did your relatives argue or hold grudges?
Were you disappointed when you didn’t get what you wanted for Christmas?
Were you upset when your holiday wasn’t perfect?

We have so many expectations around the holidays. When our expectations are not met, we become disappointed. This disappointment can even lead to beliefs about the holidays. We start believing that we can’t get what we want. This belief can even affect your entire life.

What can you do?

  1. Recognize these holiday emotions as unwanted visitors from the past. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  2. Plan ahead. Before you arrive think about situations that trigger age regression. Do your best to avoid or limit these situations.
  3. Pick a few coping skills and use them. Two easy skills are taking a walk or some deep breathing. See A Quick Fix for Brain-Lock for another easy coping skill.
  4. Practicing loving your family no matter what. Remember they are probably experiencing their own age regression.

Finally, if you are ready to release these unwanted emotions for good, you can explore the poetry of emotion process.

Would you like you to really enjoy your holiday season this year?

To read more…

(Image: andrewr @ flickr

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