How to Use Your Problem Childhood to Create the Life You Want

Your problem childhood holds the key to the life you want. Many of the emotions that are holding you back are not from the present moment. You are still feeling limiting emotions from childhood.

As a child you may have felt hurt, rejected, afraid, embarrassed, shamed, ignored or unloved. These emotions are still with you because there was no resolution – no opportunity for release. You did not get the love, the attention, or the respect you needed. These emotions act like messengers from the past telling you what you need now to create the life you want.

The theory of unmet needs

When you hold onto emotions from the past you have unmet needs. You don’t feel whole. You don’t believe that you are good enough or deserving enough. Unmet needs can derail your best efforts to have the life you want.

How do unmet needs work? When you felt a strong negative emotion as a child, that emotion became stuck in your mind and body. You are still waiting for something you needed as a child. Until you get what you needed you will continue to feel incomplete.

How do you know if you have unmet needs?

If you are doing all the right things and nothing seems to work for you, you have unmet needs. If you are using great techniques such as affirmations or a gratitude journal yet you don’t see any changes this is a sign that you have strong unmet needs.

The stronger your unmet needs, the more difficult they are to overcome. When you continually try to overcome the past and fail, you may eventually give up.

Case study

As a child Cody was teased because he was different. Cody grew up in a family of people who liked to be active. His brothers enjoyed sports, hunting, and fishing. Cody preferred books and excelled at school. Cody’s family never praised his achievements in school.

Cody got a good job in a large company. Even though Cody was smart and good at his job he never achieved the success he wanted. He was continually passed over for promotions.

At a deep level Cody felt that he was not good enough. As a child Cody’s family never appreciated him or recognized his talents and abilities. His unmet need was to have someone recognize his true self and his talents.

Cody used the poetry of emotion process to resolve his unmet need. He found that he was no longer looking for someone else to validate his worth. He decided that his company was not right for him. He spent some time analyzing his desires and decided to open his own small company.

While Cody still struggles from time to time, he is happier working for himself. He was surprised to find that he is more comfortable with his family. He no longer expects them to fulfill his unmet needs.

Do you have unmet needs? Are they disguised as a lack of success?

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Image: 2ose @ Flickr

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