When we know what is causing our anger, we can have a healthy anger response. This kind of anger helps us know when we have been mistreated or harmed. It helps us take action to improve our lives.
Anger can also be unhealthy. For example, if your partner forgot your birthday or didn’t listen to you, an unhealthy response would be to yell and refuse to speak to your partner for days.
Sometimes we are not aware of what is really causing our anger. This type of anger is often more intense and more difficult to manage.
You are going to be learning a permanent solution to your anger problem. If you want anger management tips, look elsewhere. Keep reading to discover permanent solutions to anger.
How do you know if you have unhealthy anger?
If you have had an experience when your anger seemed to come out of nowhere or your anger overwhelmed you, this is a sign of unhealthy anger.
Most of you know if you are experiencing unhealthy anger. You say things you later regret. You hurt your loved ones. Your family has told you that you need to get control of your anger. You can‘t stop your anger responses.
Why do you need to worry about intense anger?
Intense anger has been shown to affect our health, our relationships and our state of mind. In an article on Web MD, How Anger Hurts Your Heart by Katherine Kam, we learn that intense anger or suppressed rage can affect our health.
When we become intensely angry, our fight or flight response is activated. This speeds up our heart rate and breathing. If this happens too often it can cause wear and tear on our heart. It can speed up the buildup of fatty plaque in our arteries.
Studies published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology showed that chronically angry people are more likely to develop heart disease and once they develop heart disease they are more likely to have a poor prognosis.
In an article on the Psychology Today web site, Is Anger Keeping Your Relationships Stuck in a Never-Ending Pattern of Argument and Recrimination, Dr. Robert Nay tells us that we have relationship problems because we are not getting to the root cause of our anger. (The name of his article says it all, doesn’t it.)
What is the root cause of your anger?
A healthy anger response is focused in the present moment. An unhealthy anger response has roots in the past.
If you have been reading my blog, you will know that we carry unresolved emotions from the past. When you feel anger, you are experiencing all of your unresolved anger. For some of you this can be pretty overwhelming.
Intense anger can also happen when we have an emotion that is too painful to experience. Instead of experiencing our true emotion, we get angry. For many people anger is easier to handle than fear, shame, guilt, or hurt.
What can I do about my anger?
If your anger is based on something from the present moment, then you will want to focus on learning healthy communications skills.
If your anger is from the past or it is the result of another painful emotion, you can learn the poetry of emotion process and release the problem emotion permanently. You can release the root cause of your anger.
How would your life change if you released your unhealthy anger?To read more…
(Image: greg westfall @ Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/imagesbywestfall/3606314694/)