Are you celebrating yourself or judging yourself? We often hear the old saying: “Is your cup half-empty or half-full?” Are you focusing on your half-empty cup?
How you view yourself and your life can make a huge difference in your level of happiness. A simple shift in perspective can change your world.
Being kind to yourself is a great way to celebrate yourself. Would you like to see your cup as half-full?
Why do you judge yourself?
Many of you believe that judging yourself is the best way to improve your life. Has this ever really worked for you?
As children, adults gave us a lot of information about what we should and shouldn’t do. Here are some examples:
- You need to make better grades.
- You shouldn’t hit your brother.
- You didn’t do your chores.
- You shouldn’t get angry.
Even if the adult said these things to help us, it often felt like judgment and criticism.
When you became an adult, you took over this task. Many of you continue to give yourself constant feedback in the form of judgments and criticism.
Take a moment and focus on your self talk. What are you telling yourself? What tone of voice are you using? Do you sound kind or judgmental?
Can you treat yourself with kindness?
Have you ever considered a different option? Even if you have a history of judgment could you be kind and start celebrating yourself?
I have had a number of clients tell me that they say things to themselves that they would never say to a friend. They would not want to be hurtful to a friend.
Kindness exercise #1
Make an effort to be kind to yourself for one hour. For this hour, monitor your self-talk and choose to use a kind tone of voice. Use supportive encouraging language. Celebrate yourself by pointing out what you are doing right.
What did you discover? Were you surprised by how often you needed to adjust your tone of voice or change your language?
Kindness exercise #2
For three days (yes, three days!) use only kind language in your self-talk. If you find yourself being judgmental or critical, ask yourself: “Would I say this to my best friend?” If the answer is no, stop and change your language.
Be sure to pay attention to the tone of your voice. Would you use that tone of voice with your best friend?
At the end of three days, I hope you will want to keep the kindness habit. After all, kindness can be a new habit.
When you want to motivate yourself, try encouragement. When you make a mistake, try focusing on what you did right and how to do better in the future. Be your own cheerleader.
And finally, I want to remind you about the poetry of emotion process. If you have too much baggage from the past, these simple kindness exercises may be too difficult. Releasing the past can make all the difference.
Celebrating yourself will transform your life.
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(Image: Jannie-Jan @ Flickr http://www. flickr.com/photos/fauxpress/3402510228/)