You probably already know that relationships are a place where emotional wounds are easily triggered. We all want to feel secure in our relationships. We all want to be accepted.
But, sometimes relationships create stress, worry, and uncertainty. We do not have that safe place to be ourselves.
Is your stress due to your partner or is it due to emotional wounds from your past?
What happens in our relationships?
When a relationship is new we believe this time things are going to be different. We feel secure and loved.
Over time we begin to notice small problems creeping in. For example, our wonderful partner starts criticizing us – just like mom. Our partner starts ignoring us – just like dad. The new relationship begins to feel like that last failed relationship.
We start to worry. Is this person really the one? Were we wrong about our partner? We start looking for problems and we find them.
Emotional wounds and relationships
We want to be ourselves in our relationships. We become open and vulnerable. Unfortunately this exposes our wounds.
Sometimes relationships can help us heal. Other times, our partner is the one who hurts us the most.
There are many reason people fall in love. You may bond through your heart or at a spiritual level. These relationships can be healing and transformational.
Sometimes we bond through our wounds. These relationships can be painful. At the same time, they can provide us with a direct path to healing the past.
How relationships heal us
When we enter a relationship, we do not do it alone. We bring our parents and all of our past relationships. Any time we were hurt or our heart was broken, we bring that wound to our new relationship.
Our partner seems to know which button to push to trigger these old wounds. When this happens we have a choice. We can believe our current partner is just like our dad or our last partner. Or we can ask, “Is this emotional pain from our past?” If it is, we have the opportunity to heal.
How the poetry of emotion can help
You may be thinking that you don’t want to dredge up all those painful memories from childhood. With the poetry of emotion process you don’t need to.
First you identify the painful emotion. Then you find a time before you ever felt that emotion. If this emotion was created in your past, you may find yourself at a very young age – sometimes before you had a cognitive memory. This younger self has what you need in order to heal. Your younger self feels whole and loved.
Until you release these wounds from childhood, you will continue to have the same relationship problems.
Important note
In this blog post, I am assuming typical relationship issues. If you are struggling with severe problems, seek help with a mental health professional in your area.
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(Image: J.K. Califf @ Flickr)
